04.35am

I can't sleep.

I can see the daylight.

It is that time of the night.

I miss you -

Manzil mushkil tou kyaa...

Dhundhla saahil tou kyaa...

Tanhaa yeh dil tou kyaa...

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

“The light of love, the purity of grace,
The mind, the Music breathing from her face, 
The heart whose softness harmonised the whole —
And, oh! that eye was in itself a Soul!"

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words

Dying to believe in what you heard

...

I was staring straight, into the shining sun...

“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.” 

- Pablo Neruda

You will be loved.

Honth pe liye howe

Dil ki baat hum

Jaagte rahein ge aur

Kitni raat hum

Mukhtasar si baat hay

Tum se pyaar hay…

Tumhara intezaar hay…

Hemant Kumar’s voice has created a strange stupor, a silence that is calm, but also feels incomplete. Fading light of the day has entered my room through the window; I can now see my thoughts floating in the air, at times like a cloud of tiny particles as if smoke, undulated, doing a sinuous dance of rise and fall. Her pictures are all over my desk, every glance makes more ripples… my essence feels more scented.

More than ever I can say now… that my dream of ‘us’ is rooted most in my admiration for you. To think of you, is to think of love, but tonight I wish to disengage this bond… bring hope and future and thoughts and emotions and every single desire of my avid being to the periphery.  

Tonight it is about you and no one else. Not even me, or us. Someone awe inspiring even before love conquered like this. An inherent disciple of Rumi, a soul so untainted… devotion so intact, making poetry of ordinary living. Delightful like a child, affectionate like a mother, a friend like no other, a lover so refined… distilling, crystallizing every form of expression, sometimes passionate as if fire from within, but also subtle as if a gentle breeze… a book I can read all night, and every night of my residual presence, a poetry I already recite, often unknowingly to every person I meet… a song I can sing endlessly, without ever stopping… even once.

Have you ever noticed how talking to you all night, brightens up my day. What is, if not this radiance, that ecstasy Sufi talks about?

My incomplete, incoherent, and restless self every so often, like all those, begins to trample you I know. I have my own share of broken dreams, a baggage full of abandoned emotions. I am sorry for all every single of those moments when I hurt you, made you feel less beautiful.

But know, that you will be loved. The way you want to. The way you deserve.

Know that something special is here within you.

Happy birthday

Noor -

I have this yearning to love you.

Is it not the one you're looking for.

Am I, not the one

Yours.