Friday, July 16, 2010

Being Genuine

Its not about what you think. I'm beyond that.

Change & Youth Conferences

Today, over lunch at some famous restaurant, we were discussing.. well you know, how mismanagement is confining our growth as an organization and as collective nation. Nothing new really. Usual sort of a discussion that yields some shabby and predictably boring conclusions. But all in the process somewhere, and I don't know from where one colleague said something really interesting. Something extremely fundamental in its core yet amazingly forgotten. Something which can be understood and applied in context of politics, governance, management, conflicts, technology, economics and every other significant dimension of human evolution. Something which can redefine our future.

"Yes we have problems and some serious questions to answer... but what we gotta realize is, we are actually part of that very same problem..."

People who are into organizing youth conferences, conventions, seminars and blah blah should take some notes. Its not exactly the way you try things out. Well, to change them. Don't get me wrong here. I'm certainly not against the idea of youth mobilization for a cause but I don't subscribe to this whole notion of talking about food and water shortages in parts of Sindh while relaxing my butt on a cushioned chair of some air conditioned five star hotel. Rich kids like us playing 'Lets change the world' game? In 2007, I was part of one glorified youth residential conference where each one of the 300 participants paid around 35000Rs. for 5 days. That's like 10500000 Rs in total. A lot of money made by the organizers from engaging some insignificant and brazen minnows to flip charts, role plays and incoherent babbling.

Change. What is change?

Nelson Mandela had the answer. His version was never too loud. Steve Jobs had the right idea. In out, being consistent year after year... Apple has now penetrated into world markets. Getting so inherently connected to our lives. Adding value, through change. Lance Armstrong's fight against cancer is another shining example. His journey wasn't sexy always. But didn't he just redefine the perceived level of human courage? Even religion has it. How Muhammad (S.A.W) transformed the ill bred and absolutely beast like Arab creatures into world leaders who went on conquering almost one third of the entire world is something of highest worth and significance. Science, Art, Literature. Muslim led every field, through change.

We got to realize two things. One, you got to be In the system to Change the system. You got to understand the governing dynamics. Make sure you realize that you've contributions someway in every problem you can think of. Make yourself think this way. As a part. Don't go to change straight away. Don't even talk about it. First, find your own faults, your crime, your role. It is bound to re-define your thinking pattern.

Two, change is never incoherent. Its focused. Consistent and dimensionally focused to produce some objectivity.

image: Alkaline- Deviantart

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Connecting Dots - I

"You know its true... Everything I do.. I do it for you."

One beautiful song by Bryan Adams. Brings back so many memories... makes me want to get personal tonight, after well around 3 years I think. At that time somewhere around the later half of 2007, I promised myself that I would not let my emotions flow through my words. I decided I would not talk about my breakdowns, about things/people I love and what I feel about them. Resting deep down inside those inexplicable corners of my existence. All that I have written since that day, have just been mere reflections. Point of view, you may say. About things/people, where how what I think about them. I completely own my thoughts, my words but there are things I yearn for. People who I love, people who I need, people I want to be with. And badly. All these years, it has just been about them, not me. Someone needing love, unconditionally.

Today, it is just going to be about me.

There was a time, when I had gone very unstable. Emotionally I mean. What do you expect man.. I was 19, madly in love with her. And what happened... 3 30AM one night she texted me, "Noor.. I think I'm falling for someone else.. you need to get over with us". Hmmmm.. You know I agree things weren't all smooth between us but.. I didn't expect things to be.. well this interesting. Ha! Things were interesting. I met her next day at KFC nearby. She looked like someone in love but crap, it wasn't for me. I knew it, had to accept it. And yeah, had to attend my first cousin's wedding reception that evening as well. I came home, cried in shower, dressed up, went to the reception, met relatives, smiled, talked... being normal about it... being personal about it.

It was that day. The last time I cried for her. Or anyone else. I realized its such a difficult thing to do, crying that is. You know that day really made me who I am today... some would say strong, some would say aloof and some cold may be. I don't know but yes... today I'm more prepared to deal with such interesting situations. I'm no longer 19, no longer a first timer. I'm glad I didn't let myself completely crumble. I feel blessed that I had friends to help me get out of it. Many a times I picked up a knife to cut myself but I never did. Many a times, we had fights and arguments just on the night before my exam but I never failed even one. I'm blessed you know, I got out of it without much damage. Well.. yeah may be.

But you know, this suffering, broken relationships, fights, arguments... nothing has stayed long enough to weaken the intensity of my desire to love. I want to love. I want to be loved.

You need to know... there is someone real behind that shining armor... and he needs a hug!