Numbness

I'm in a difficult mood today. Difficult to describe. It's not anywhere but it's somehow everywhere. Swings! I wanted to write a lengthy fictitious entry tonight but right now I just cant think anything.. It's like colors. When all the colors get mix, they evolve into BLACK. Just the same way, when you think about alot of things at a same time, you are actually thinking nothing. It gets empty. It gets tiring.


I read in an poetry sometime back [shayad of Wordsworth's].. "Vacant and pensive".

I 'm continuously living a dual life. Am I a bipolar??

I'm fighting hard. I who was always extremely proud of "my flow", today, I 'm trying my very best to stop it. The love I feel, I want to share it. But I 've to refrain myself. Even from expressing it... and this is killing me. Day by Day. I'm strong enough and sane enough to accept certain things.. but I AM NOT THIS!! can someone understand it?? Can someone accept it that life to me is my expression?? SOMEONE??