[Year 2007] -Me-Life-Flavors-

It's the last day today. 2007 is over. Time to celebrate? Well, certainly not! It's a time to mourn for the whole nation since the "Daughter of the Nation" has passed away. But in midst of all this sadness and monotonous whining, I feel strange. All this is very familiarly strange! In a country where more then 100 men die everyday without leaving a trace, a country where [I don't know] how many daughters and mothers get assaulted everyday, burned everyday... People of such a country should be ready for this type of "traumas" and "mourning"! no? Are we really used to mourning? And frankly speaking, somehow I don't know why should I feel sad for her? Yes! She was a strong woman, Yes! She was the daughter of Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto [I don't know who he was and how he was BTW! But I do know he was the one who teared apart that papery something in the Security Council.. He is "The Man"]... Why should I stop working because she died? Few days back, a 4 year old son of our household maid was crushed to death by a reckless, drunk truck driver.. I didn't stop working that day. Nor did I mourn! Oh c'mon don't tell me that poor child didn't go oxford or Harvard and wasn't a "strong willed" child!

But I feel sad. Probably for this city. Because I belong to this city. Probably watching cars burn, people shouting and darkened streets make me depressed. God Bless! --

Khair, lets move on. Year 2007 has been different for me. If I had to compactly sum it up in one word, it would be "Life". Yes! 2007 has been like a whole life... going up, going down, achieving, losing, laughing, crying... love, ignorance, anger, jealousy, spiritual.. LIFE!

[I had orignially written a lot of emotional stuff about the year but now I feel my emotions just don't matter! So.. sab khattam!]

Noor.

Monday, December 31st,2007

2:04 AM

Edited on Thrusday, 3rd Jan, 2008

Exams and Infections [With a Difference]

Exams are on. Is it a bad news? Oh I 've another news for you... I got ill twice, in last week or so. Firstly, it was a malarial infection. and it was my 'computer's' [subject] paper. It was a semi-disaster! It wasn't completely a disaster as I would InshaAllah get decent marks, but then it was a subject of my strength and like- ability. So calling it a semi-disaster would be okay, no? Well, Then, it's my 'management' paper tomorrow and guess what I 've got this time? My very own 'throat infection'. People who know me do know this very thing about me. My love for my throat. Or we should say, my abhorrence for my throat as I get it infected again n again n againnnnnnnn.... But one thing is for sure. In all this time of uncertainty and murkiness [some other dimensions of my life], this very old same throat infection makes me believe that I'm still the very same. That old lil infected bastard!! It still makes me suffer the same way it used to do some three years ago or may be even before that or may be since always. And it makes me realize that no matter time has changed the way I feel different things now, atleast *atleast* I can still feel this throaty 'interfering' infection, the same way. So does that mean this infection is a blessing? Well... CERTAINLY NOT!

Well... besides being sick most of the time, I'm studying alot these days. Obviously, since exams are on. As I wrote in my last entry, I'm working or living like a robot. Waking up 9 in the morning, then 11-6 belongs to university [quite often goes till 8 or 9] then home, eat, computer and zzzzzZZZ. I' m not saying I'm working alot these days, certainly I'm not. But pata nahin... during days, studying, in bus, gazing, junking... I realize that this is not me. I don't belong to this robotic schedules and robotic people. I was somewhere else. With someone else. Going somewhere else. Pata nahi... I love this too.. but..

Khair, life is going on and so 'm I. Two days back, while I was talking to a friend about my favourite time in a day and my love for winter nights, I suddenly caught the oxymoronity of the expression I just made. I caught myself saying, "I love winter nights since they are lonngg. I can do alot of work then..." WHAT? Welll, a reactive comment was quite obvious on this weird thought. "NoorrrRR!!!??? Winter nights are for sleeeeping, not working! C'mon, don't be so [owlishly] 'ALAG'..."

"Alag"... "Different"... "Unique"... "Reserved"... "Rude"... "Weird"... "Noor"....

I guess I will always be confused in these words. What exactly I Do?? Like them or hate???


Noor
Monday, Dec 10th,2007
00:34