Intellect

Your mettle is tested every now and then. Just when you start thinking that you might have all the answers, life so artistically changes the questions. Questions irrelevant to answers; questions incompetent of any definite conclusions. Life's a mess, a problematic affair if you take it that way. Boring, customary and strictly sensible. But on the other way, it is a myth. Just like a hidden treasure. It gets interesting and significantly magical the moment one understands the prank behind it.

In our lives, being sensible and logical can be boring because we so consistently relate it to the net outcome. The conclusive part; the final result. I believe logic should be understood like something inherent, something beautifully cultivated across the procedure, the course of action. Being logical or intellectual should not be considered as being mechanical. Anyway, anywhere. Being logical should be as good looking as being humane. It should be as warm as a motherly hug and as emotional as the first love. Like some close friends enjoying a game of chess. Like a child sitting along with his papa trying to fit jigsaw pieces together. Like two lovers discussing Rumi. Long walks. Beach.

Its disappointing to feel it. Feel that we are fast losing that breathing intellect that we all have. We are not exercising it. Stretching it. Friends meet at Sheesha and discuss their babes, lovers meet and they think they talk about love. 16 17 18 years of age, talking hours on the phone? 'Dou ruppey mein aik ganta baat'? You attend a lecture and the professor, who happens to be an eminent scientist fails to understand the simple philosophy that binds all the scientific theories and evolutions together. He fails to understand and then, fails to deliver. Quite obviously. And the chain goes on... Being mechanically focused on the net outcome. An unsatisfying journey to the center of nowhere land.

I believe we need to learn, and quickly. We don't have to be anyone else to be logical. Just being human again would be critical for the years to come.

Constant Change - Revisited

Since ever, reading has been one of my most beloved hobbies. Something that comes naturally to me. Though the inconsistency of my taste and my wavering nature is well exhibited from the way I select a book to read, one particular genre was successful [till sometime back] in arresting a meaty portion of my time. "Self Help and Inspirationals". Yes! I have quite a few of them at my home. Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, Og Mandino, Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, Napoleon Hill, Stephen Covey etc etc.. And the list never ends. My brother has this odd habit of collecting self help books and I, the very reader, continued to read them. And read again. Some tried to teach me how to find love, some tried to signify shortcuts to fame and fortune and some tried to make me a better human. I don't know how much they all succeeded but one thing is for sure, reading all these self help books over the years, I have finally decided one thing. That I 'm NOT going to read them anymore. Atleast for sometime. I think I don't need so much of help.

But I guess this happens with every one of us. Sometimes we just start feeling over filled. We might not know but we yearn to feel a bit empty. Sometimes we suddenly get to know that we know so much. Sometimes, our haggard minds desire for something new. Little bit immaturity. Little bit of childishness. Sometimes getting 100/100 isn't satisfying, as it doesn't offer any challenges or targets to achieve then.

I've observed something salient about us beings. That we, unlike every other creation in the universe, get tired of things. We actually dwell nowhere and are in constant state of search. Search for the subsequent. That search might not necessarily be for prosperity or betterment. It might be destructive and disparaging. We are self ignorant to the fact that changes can swing both ways. From better to worse. From worse to better. But who cares. What a 'typical' human soul wants is a Change. [And the word typical excludes saints and Sufis].

I think this is why anything in abundance just doesn't work for us. Infact, it starts to work against us. Start walking on The Right Path. Be true and speak the truth. One day, Even if you don't ask for a change, you might get weary about The truth, The Angels and The Heavens... Lie, lie, lie... and one day, there is a bright chance that you might start seeking "The Righteous Path". I wouldn't call it a God's blessing on that lier but to me, it is the same need. The Search for the subsequent. The quest that keeps us mortals tangling around two extremes. We leave "Black" in search for something brighter... but even "White" doesn't satisfy us. May be this is why; most of us spend huge portions of our lives traveling and roving in those "Gray" areas.

I believe science can re-create everything. It can make everything seem understandable and logical. But this strange expedition of us mortals is and should always stay as a delicate knot. Who knows, undoing it might change everything...

Noor.
Wednesday, March 19,2008
1:34 AM

You're allowed - Revisited

He was all dressed up and I, in casuals. He was smoking and I, I was just watching those puffs rolling and thawing between us.

"You know this place is so quiet"

"Quiet? What?... man this place is damn earsplitting! Yeh chutiyeh apni bak bak band hi nahin kartey"

"Freedom of Expression bari behanchod cheez hai bhai"

"Hahaha! Haan par Expression of Freedom ka kiya?"

"Expression of Freedom?? Hain?"



"Abay saala light chaley gayi"

__________________________________________

If I ask a question, its not necessary that you come up with a relevant answer. Expression of Freedom should allow you to say anything. If my girlfriend decides to sleep with someone outside my knowledge, freedom allows her to do so. Can I stop her? Can I blame? If a group of vandals decide to beat the hell out of me, what can I do? I can't stop them! Expression of Freedom should allow them to beat me. If a sparrow shits on me, all I can do is swab it off. If a dog bites me, I can just take off my shirt to get those 14 something injections. If a baby decides to pee on me, I can't clutch his smallish dick and stop him from doing so. Its his freedom and you know its 'innocently wet and warm'. If people laugh at me, they should be allowed to laugh, if they cry, no one should try to console them. If someone wants to, he can dance at my funeral and should be fully allowed to do so.


Freedom is such a dangerous expression. Its inherent but rare. One has to surpass junctions like Act, React, Accept and Neglect to reach it. And one has complete freedom to decide where does he fall.

Friday, September 26th,2008

1:25 AM

Life in a Metro [2]: Cynically yours

I think I was somewhere around 13 14 at that time. I was walking across a road, getting back home. Was alone and just like any other kid of that age, strictly directed by family not to talk to strangers or even go near them.

Just as I was passing across a sheermaal house, I heard a voice from behind:

"Dost baat suno.."

I turned around to find a young, tall pathan guy wearing white shalwar kameez standing there looking at me.

"Dost roti ke liye kuch madad kardo... ghar par chotey behan bhai bhookey hain.."

I said nothing. Gave nothing. But just before walking away hastily, I did manage to see in his eyes. For some fractional part of a second. And those eyes have followed me since then.

Needed no proofs. I know he wasn't lying. His eyes had that truth. That hunger. That helplessness. I was a kid then who got terrified by such sudden encounter, but sometimes I still regret... I could have helped him in some way. Yes he was a young man, seeming fit to do any kind of physical work but. I don't know. I just could have helped him. Even if he was lying...

________________________

Sometimes I compute... I literally spend thousands every month eating out with friends.

And then I talk about food shortage in Africa. Infra human conditions in other parts of the world. Makes me feel like a hypocrite.

Just a few days back, a friend proclaimed on her Facebook status that Pakistan's on verge of a revolution. And that would be brought by the 'youth' of this country. Hmmmm.. I think I don't agree. In fact I think this is one of the most ridiculous, shit of a claim I have heard in a long time. Its sickening. Disgusting thing to read. Me, you and everyone else around us who claims to be that 'youth' of this nation should feel embarrass on the insignificant shit we have acquired after years of strenuous hard work. We have meticulously cultivated germs of mediocrity.

While watching local channels, when a young desi Blondie wearing a tight fitted T-shirt wave a Salaam at you, you don't know what exactly to do. Left confused. Whether to reply her salaam in proper Islamic sense or just continue staring her breasts poking out of her branded T-shirt. I have no objections with her wear, but that salaam is utterly disturbing.

Too cynical? Few of my 'she' friends would read this. They won't like it I suppose. But what to do? Big cities like Karachi do have some idiots like me as well.

You don't worry. Just take care!


Link to Life in a Metro [1]

Image: Lostsoulx44

When I play, I don't care!

image: Babyface

Me Again!

This is nothing but hazy confusion. In times of utter mess, when the entropic calculations are at their highest, and when the triumphs are so delicately yet ruthlessly tangled with defeats, one is justified to ask a lot questions.

Just few minutes back, I was sitting with my nephew Armaan, watching cartoons in his room..

Armaan (With his finger pointing): Chachu, please go and switch off those washroom lights.

Me (With my eyes fixed on TV): Yeah...

Armaan: Do it now na! Or mother earth will die!!

.....

This came as one shocker. Took few minutes to comprehend that just yesterday was World Earth Day and he must have learned all this at his school. Made me smile. Isn't this one of those miracles which we wait to happen all our lives? Or like a moment, when we start connecting backwards. Aren't we taking ourselves just too seriously? Like grown up adults who also happen to be deteriorated human beings? Like God whispering in Armaan's ear, "Son, this little thing (Me) is acting weird since few days now.. make him learn something new today.." And I know, Armaan is closer to God than me.

I don't care if I sound insane and absolutely incomprehensible tonight. Doing all this after a long long time. Just too tired of playing sensible and logical, which am not. And you know it. Just few more minutes and I'll be that dominating Noor again.

And btw, I LOVED My Name is Khan. I think its an outstanding movie. One of the best I have ever seen.


Take Care.

Connect Within

Jaam e Fanaa Bekhudi.. Ab tou peeya,

Jo ho so ho...

Image: *burcindrummer