Exams and Infections [With a Difference]

Exams are on. Is it a bad news? Oh I 've another news for you... I got ill twice, in last week or so. Firstly, it was a malarial infection. and it was my 'computer's' [subject] paper. It was a semi-disaster! It wasn't completely a disaster as I would InshaAllah get decent marks, but then it was a subject of my strength and like- ability. So calling it a semi-disaster would be okay, no? Well, Then, it's my 'management' paper tomorrow and guess what I 've got this time? My very own 'throat infection'. People who know me do know this very thing about me. My love for my throat. Or we should say, my abhorrence for my throat as I get it infected again n again n againnnnnnnn.... But one thing is for sure. In all this time of uncertainty and murkiness [some other dimensions of my life], this very old same throat infection makes me believe that I'm still the very same. That old lil infected bastard!! It still makes me suffer the same way it used to do some three years ago or may be even before that or may be since always. And it makes me realize that no matter time has changed the way I feel different things now, atleast *atleast* I can still feel this throaty 'interfering' infection, the same way. So does that mean this infection is a blessing? Well... CERTAINLY NOT!

Well... besides being sick most of the time, I'm studying alot these days. Obviously, since exams are on. As I wrote in my last entry, I'm working or living like a robot. Waking up 9 in the morning, then 11-6 belongs to university [quite often goes till 8 or 9] then home, eat, computer and zzzzzZZZ. I' m not saying I'm working alot these days, certainly I'm not. But pata nahin... during days, studying, in bus, gazing, junking... I realize that this is not me. I don't belong to this robotic schedules and robotic people. I was somewhere else. With someone else. Going somewhere else. Pata nahi... I love this too.. but..

Khair, life is going on and so 'm I. Two days back, while I was talking to a friend about my favourite time in a day and my love for winter nights, I suddenly caught the oxymoronity of the expression I just made. I caught myself saying, "I love winter nights since they are lonngg. I can do alot of work then..." WHAT? Welll, a reactive comment was quite obvious on this weird thought. "NoorrrRR!!!??? Winter nights are for sleeeeping, not working! C'mon, don't be so [owlishly] 'ALAG'..."

"Alag"... "Different"... "Unique"... "Reserved"... "Rude"... "Weird"... "Noor"....

I guess I will always be confused in these words. What exactly I Do?? Like them or hate???


Noor
Monday, Dec 10th,2007
00:34