People around me are in so much pain... so many of them are suffering... I can clearly hear their cries, I can see them helpless.. they ask me to help... they want my help... but here I'm ... I can feel, I can hear, I can see.. but I can't do anything.. Why???
Sometimes I think it's bad to feel so much... feel about everything, about everyone because you know emotions don't matter... what do I have.. Does. What I 've done... Does matter.
When I walk in a crowd... I feel I'm alone.. I don't know what it is.. may be I think 'm not fit for this society or may b I've a superiority complex...!?? They... sometimes they stare, sometimes they laugh.. but they never cry and miss me when 'm gone.. Do I want them to miss me??? Does it matter???
A feel of worthlessness surrounds me everytime.. people close to me have made me believe that 'm worth of absolutely nothing... and they are quite right when I compare myself with my friends, cousins and collegues.. They certainly have more energy, more life, more masti, more charm ...... what do I have?? Feelings???
HELLO??????? anyone??? I wanna sell my feelings for free.. take them please.. I 've been feeling completely filled for so long, now I wanna feel completely empty...
OKay...
Okay.. lemme cut my this I, I and feeling, feeling shit off and allow myself to think something bad.. real bad! m tired of being good.. heheh.. when I was like 17 18 naa, I used to watch porn movies and at that time, I used to forget everything, literally everything...
forget about watching a porn now.. but I wanna that sort of a Focus [ you might know what I mean]...
But life is good, I love Karachi.. and I love Pakistan.. Pakistan Zindabad!!
.................
PS: Shit 'good', shit ' love', shit 'Zindabad'...
you see somethings are meant to be...
3 comments:
I get what u mean abt the feeling.. its it kind of running away?
Its tough to be different. Very tough indeed! But you have got something not many can have.. n ppl like me.. who r loosing them now or trying to hold them, would envy u at times!
Sense of worthlessness may have been given to u from family, friends or society.. but what u make out of it today would be ur decision..
I think u r wasting urself cuz of the fake shell that has been given to u. From which u can come out as beautiful as a new rosebud, as strong as butterfly's wings..
The ultimate quetion is.. Do you want to rebel against blocks ur mind have created?
[those blocks will b very appealling, i tell u!]
apart from the motivation lecture.. *hugs*.. munna bhai ne farmaya hai.. jaadu ki jhappi ne baro baro ko hilaya hai! [:P]
I completely agree.. :)
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