I don't know whats happening.. I don't know where I 'm heading to... they say I 've changed in last few days, is it something bad? Is it bad to stay quiet and think? Simply 'Think'... well, it's not possible atleast at my home, as it turns into a mini theatre every evening... It's not possible either in friends... as they never come up from scores [ both of exams and cricket], cars, bras, legs and biryanis...
Think-ing???
Is it so important? I 've thought about much till now... but no actions? where are the actions? Damn! they want results.. world wants RESULTS.. do I??
People around me are so monotonous..when they say they love me, they all say it togather... and I think they do love me... but they don't answer the most urgent question of my life... " Is it bad to be different?" "Is it bad to think..."
Let's see what they say:
Pa: 'Us sey kaho "sudher jaye", warna i will throw him out of MY house...'
Ma: 'Beta Parhai mein dhiyaan dou... hum log aaj hain, kal nahin...'
Bhai: ' Abhi aik dou saal aur aish kar ley.. phir khud seedha hojayegaa jab zamaaney ki laat pareygi naaa...'
Sis: ' Aur motey, kaisa hai? parhaii kaisi hai...'
Friends: Noor, Kis ki soch mein ho, kis ki yaad aarahi bhai...
Needless to say, they love me but they don't even know me.
Since I 've met her, I 've found an amazing silence and peace in her, her agitated self soothes my existance, her raw and unsophisticated presence has given me strength to survive in the mob of artificially designed expression-less humans [humans?], when she searches for answers, when the unknown fustrates her... I feel like bringing the whole world to her and say " Take anything you want, my lady..."
Though she is very complex to understand, she has given me a space in herself, a space where I lay down and relax.. There, I can't hear the instructions of my father, I can't hear the yapping of my friends.. It's so quiet. It's a space to feel, a space to express, a space to think... now I don't even want answers from anyone, she has given me The answer...
she has given me... Myself.
3 comments:
I still feel outta words..
It's ironic but true that sometimes our people don't understand us! That's life.
I wonder how extraordinary that "she" must have been!! (:
Freaky. I was thinking the same thing only yesterday.
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